It's about how I eat | Artistic Research

Premise:

Over the years, I have developed a complex relationship with food. I have always considered eating as pleasure. It's an invigorating urge to address this relationship with food and body, is why I wish to work on this thematic.

There was a distinct pattern emerging from how I consumed food over the years and the pattern always ran in a loop. I am consciously aware about this cyclic burst to succumb myself to a validated body shape but the habits are so ingrained that, breaking the loop looks threatening physically and emotionally.

For the longest time, I have been practising diet culture and restrictive eating. Even though it's considered as a precautionary measure for healthy lifestyle, the ‘diet culture’ has turned toxic by the way it's propagated and practiced. It created more body insecurities and developed unhealthy coping mechanisms. Most of these diets that are advertised around heavily, like ketogenic diet, Atkins, Paleo, liquid diet, master cleanse etc, are not sustainable, especially for South Asian context, and has reverse consequences, once discontinued.

It always started with a surge of obsession to have a particular body shape influenced by the dominant media, cultural and social notions of ideal body, family environment which also affected my cognitive behaviour and need for external validation for physical appearance. This obsession was induced by outside forces, but so deeply ingrained that it appears as a personal war and this war gives me a control. This war itself is so familiar that its disappearance would cause a unaddressed void.

Moving forward in the loop and to comply by the obsession with body shape and scale, the body is subjected to restraints such as restrictive food habits and toxic diet culture. Going overboard with these habits caused food deprivation and unhealthy eating pattern. Most “fad” diets prescribe far too little food, and/or not eating from all food groups, which tips the body into a state of semi-starvation and induces physical deprivation. When starved of food, the body responds by reducing the rate at which it burns energy (the metabolic rate). The human brain operates at a very high metabolic rate, using a substantial portion of the body’s total energy and nutrient intake. Without proper nutrition to fuel our brain transmission and function, our brain is left vulnerable. Thats why one is most trigged when hungry. A person does not have to be underweight to display symptoms of starvation, rather, symptoms can be experienced by a person with any significant calorie deficit, in a body of any size. A person can appear to have an adequate caloric intake and still experience the social, emotional, cognitive and behavioural symptoms of starvation.

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These self imposed and extremely restricted diets are not sustainable in longer period and appear to result in eating uncontrollably, once food is available and in psychological manifestations such as preoccupation with food and eating, increased emotional responsiveness and dysphoria, and distractibility. The starved and restrictive mindset increases the desire to consume food, induces vigorous food craving that leads to episodes of Over indulgence.

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The repetitive episodes of over indulgence are uncontrollable, as restriction diet relies on the ability to control or resist the urge to eat. Once this control is lost, I am acutely aware of how I evidently cannot control their temptations in the first place.

Over indulgence also comes with a buck load of regret and shame of consuming food and not able to follow the rigid eating routine, one has set for themselves. Guilt from over indulgence retracts the mind to succumb back to the restraints followed in first place, as a coping mechanism. The body and mind drives back to the rigid restrictive and self imposed diet culture, only to complete The Loop. This cyclic burst aka Loop has stages that are related to food but opens a discourse about self image, body politics, consumerism and food politics.

As an individual floating in this ‘loop’ since half a decade, I experienced intense emotional outbursts and physical changes within my body. It reflected on my hormonal imbalance, cognitive behaviour and sexual health. The mind is constantly caged in a dominant stage of the loop, even when the individual is conscious about their eating mechanism.

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This body of work that reflects upon the cyclic state of mind at chronological stages. The images are frozen moments of my state of mind and photographed with a set of personal items.

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Approach:

-Diptychs of body and set of personal objects, coming from self reflection.
-Creating set of objects, sculptures that depict this political conflict with food, consumerism, advertisement and body politics.

 

Methodology:

-Working with digital photographs and archival prints to form a compilation.
-Experimenting with different materials such as clay, 3D laser printing, metal, plastic containers and elastics.

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Outcome:

Photo book ( 9 x 12 inches, 57 pages, Hardcover), exhibited under a contextual space and accompanied by a mix of five objects and sculpture.